‘The Toxic Office’ selects scenes from 203 episodes of ‘The Office’ that could be reedited to create a new episode where iconic TV characters are HIV+. The episode opens with Michael Scott being chastised by HR for a thoughtless joke about AIDS. During the meeting he learns Oscar is HIV+. He apologizes, but in the process reveals his ignorance about the disease. In a talking head interview, Michael discusses his wish to live in a world where he could make jokes about HIV. Oscar’s desk mate Angela uses hand sanitizer and tells us he’s a danger to the office. After an altercation between the two of them, Michael calls a meeting. He tries to convince the office there’s nothing to worry about, going so far as to force himself on Oscar and kissing him. As Oscar walks out of the office, questions whether he can continue to work there.

The Office is one of the most streamed shows in North America. The series most recognisable character is the manager, Michael Scott. He’s well-meaning but tasteless, leading to uncomfortable situations for the characters, and hilarious situations for viewers. In ‘The Toxic Office’, Michael’s actions go beyond what we would expect from him, taking it out of the realm of humor and forcing us to feel uncomfortable watching his ignorant and ham-fisted attempt to educate.

SCENE 1

Jan: You know, it's amazing to me that in this day and age, you could be so obtuse about HIV.

Toby: Michael, the email you sent this morning was very offensive.

Michael: What? How was that offenis-

Jan: You responded to Toby’s email saying: “This email was so gay it gave me AIDS.”

Michael: Well, it was pretty gay, right? But I didn’t really get AIDS… I’m clean.

Toby: All right, Michael. Oscar has HIV, and he feels deeply offended by your email.

Michael: He has HIV? Why didn’t he tell us? Did he give us all HIV? Is that what this is about?

Jan: NO!

Michael: I don't kn—

Jan: No, it's not possible.

Michael: Anything's possible.

Jan: Okay Michael, usually you get HIV through sex.

Michael: [laughs] Well, thankfully I had sex with you and not Oscar, right?

Jan: Michael, your immaturity is extremely disappointing and may even lead to a lawsuit which is the absolute last thing this company needs right now. Do you understand?

Michael: Yup - I know.

SCENE 2

Michael: The company has made it my responsibility today to put an end to 100,000 years of being freaked out by HIV.

Michael: Listen man, I am so sorry. I had no idea.

Oscar: No, it's fine. It’s okay – it’s okay.

Michael: No. No it's not. I feel terrible about it. I have been making jokes about AIDS since I was in junior high, and I have never made this mistake. Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime. And you could tell me how to not pass it to another dude.

Oscar: That sounds like a great, wonderful idea, let's do that.

SCENE 3

Michael: There are certain topics that are off-limits to comedians, JFK, AIDS, the Holocaust. The Lincoln Assassination just recently became funny. I need to see this play like I need a hole in the head. And I hope to someday live in a world where a person could tell a hilarious AIDS joke. It's one of my dreams.

SCENE 4

Angela: Sure. I saw Philadelphia… and I wanted to throw up. Maybe corporate will find out and fire him. He’s a danger to the office.

SCENE 5

Michael: Well, I guess you can’t get HIV if you’re on PrEP.

Oscar: What are you doing?!

Angela: Watching some of your friends.

Oscar: This is stupid. Excuse me.

Angela: HEY! Watch it!

Michael: All right, everybody in the conference room! I don't care if you are positive or negative or overweight! JUST GET IN HERE! RIGHT NOW!

SCENE 6

Michael: I just learned that you can’t get HIV from kissing someone. And that, if you’re undetectable, you can’t pass it through sex. I… don’t know how that works but I mean… as long as you’re undetectable, we could…. You know?

Oscar: Michael, this office obviously doesn’t want me. Everyone thinks I’m putting them in danger.

Michael: You misunderstand-- OK. You know what, OK. I uh, I’m going to show them there’s no danger. You ready? I am going to embrace Oscar. You might want to watch this Angela, because you can't catch anything. Here we go. We are going to make a statement. You and I are going to make a statement together. Oscar is my friend ---

Oscar: I would rather not.

Michael: ...and I just don't care who sees it, doesn't bother me!

Michael: [embracing Oscar] You know what, I'm going to raise the stakes. I want you to watch this. And I want you to burn this into your brains. Because this is an image that I want you people to remember for a long time to come. Whenever you come into the office, I want you to think about this. I did it. See. I'm still here. We're all still here.

Michael: Oh come on! Dwight! Come on, man!

SCENE 7

Michael: Am I a hero? I really can’t say – but yes.

Oscar: I don't think I can work here any longer. This has been the worst, most backwards day of my life.

Fade to black

SUPER: How we treat HIV has come a long way.

SUPER: How we treat people with HIV hasn’t