“Welcome to the Kobe System.” With that simple declarative sentence, American basketball player Kobe Bryant begins his pitch. What’s he selling? Success. He knows you have awards, rings, ribbons, a filet mignon and flying cars, making you someone who’s at the top, someone who doesn’t need anyone’s advice. And that’s precisely how he knows you need his. This spot from Nike Basketball capitalizes on the “system” concept of Kobe’s seventh signature shoe, transforming the innovative sneaker into a formula for success that can be transferred a la motivational speaker Tony Robbins (who also plays himself in the commercial). Hilariously deadpan and overflowing with misplaced gravitas, the pitch is hypnotic all the same. The spot also includes rapper Kanye West, comedian Aziz Ansari, skateboarder Paul Rodriguez, business mogul Richard Branson and tennis star Serena Williams, all of whom look to Kobe for guidance.