A vampire couple stands in an average kitchen. He checks in the refrigerator for a drink as she speaks on the phone to a customer service representative at the Phone Company. They’re having problems with their Internet. It’s very slow. Everything takes too long. And remember she’s immortal, so she would know.

As she tries to explain the situation, her patience slowly ebbs away and she snaps at her husband. Then – in a final indignity – she’s placed on hold. Now very angry, she threatens to fly over there and bite that customer service guy. But her husband reminds her that nobody wants an immortal phone company representative. She agrees, although she doesn’t look completely convinced.

What’s her alternative to evil internet service? Spectrum Internet. It’s the fastest. Phone Company DSL Bad. Spectrum Good.