FVO: There is now a choice of listening. If you want to remain British turn off now. If you’d rather be Portuguese, stay tuned.

MVO1: Well welcome back to Dr Louis Rando, eminent Portuguese sexologist.

MVO2: Good evening againMVO1: Hello Louis, Now I believe you’ve perfected the art of existential sex.

MVO2: Yes. It’s a technique that allows you to enjoy all the attributes of how is your father but without any of the inconvenience.

MVO1: Any time, any place, anywhere (laughs).MVO2: Yes. It is especially useful in meetings, when it might be inappropriate to have actual nookie, or in a radio interview like this.

MVO1: Oh, are you doing it now?MVO2: Yes.MVO1: Er…shall I leave the room.MVO2: It is not necessary, an existential frou frou only last for five…………………………………………………………………..

………………………………………………………………….seconds.

MVO1: So are you finished?MVO2: Yes.MVO1: So what is the secret to a healthy existential sex life?MVO2: Nando’s fresh flame grilled Peri Peri chicken. It is believed to have aphrodisiac qualities which keep you constantly perky. Excuse me.

MVO1: Er…are you at it again.MVO2: Oh just a quick one.

SFX: Nando’s jingle.ANN: Nando’s. Be Portuguese.