What began as a straightforward B2B idea with a talking printer became a tongue-in-cheek pastiche of Stanley Kubrick’s “2001: A Space Odyssey” complete with trademark one-point- perspective, 2.21:1 aspect ratio and a blue reincarnation of the original HAL 9000.

Anthony, a dishevelled office worker in the middle of some important late-night printing, is understandably surprised when the printer starts talking to him. Surprise turns to bemused concern that he might be the butt of a practical joke. But this is no joke, and the printer relentlessly educates Dave, sorry, Anthony about why he can and should be printing less.

When the printer finally falls silent, Anthony attempts to turn it off, but is met by words reminiscent of a pivotal scene in 2001: “I’m afraid I can’t let you do that Dave”.

Unnerved, Anthony walks away but the printer calls him back. Anthony turns and is amazed to see his pen rotating space-station-like in mid air. He grabs the pen, and, awestruck, walks away once more.

Awe turns to visible satisfaction when the printer proclaims “you’re my favourite Dave, Dave...” , but the printer’s uncharacteristic warmth is short lived as he packs Anthony off with a derogatory “now go away...”.

It is evening in a non-descript strip-lit corporate office. Almost everyone has left for the day - only Office Services Manager Anthony Clarke remains.

Anthony approaches the printer. A low “hum” tells us that his document has finished being processed. He presses a button to make sure. Rather than the electronic “beep” one might expect in response, we hear a distinctly male human sounding voice:

Printer (male voice) - Beep, beep, beep. Good evening, Dave.

The voice is remarkably similar to that of HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey – deadpan, calm, but a little sinister. Anthony is confused. He looks around to see if he is the butt of an office prank, smiling as if to say “nice one guys...”, but there’s no one around.

Printer - Look at all that paper... Dave.

He turns his attention to the printer again, squatting down until his face is level with the sensor on the front, the circular part of which is illuminated with a bright blue light.

Anthony - Erm, I’m Anthony...

Printer (ignoring him) - Your printing efficiency can be dramatically improved, Dave.

Anthony looks bemused, still not sure this isn’t an elaborate joke, then slightly irritated that joke or no joke, the voice keeps getting his name wrong.

Anthony - It’s Anthon....

??

The printer continues to make its point, unfalteringly

Printer (interrupting) - Dave, think about how much money you’re throwing away. Your power, your CO2.

Anthony is about to interrupt, but the printer’s words have hit a chord.

Anthony - How do y...

The printer immediately interrupts him, as if sensing what he’s going to ask.

Printer (interrupting) - Three words, Dave: ‘Device optimization and enhanced workflow automation.’

Anthony counts the words on his hands and holds up six fingers.

Anthony - That’s ..six.

Printer (interrupting) - I know.

Fuji Xerox can help you print less and print for less, Dave. That means you can save paper, time and money...

As the printer continues to explain, Anthony searches the front of the printer for some sort of microphone where the voice might be coming from. Then he focuses on the light, getting closer and closer, trying to peer into it to see if there is something within or behind it.

Printer (continues) - ...and with enhanced security you can choose who sees your documents and even print from mobile devices, making your staff more efficient and available for...

Anthony gets too close and bumps his head on the light. The printer only misses half a beat.

Printer (continuing) - ...other functions.

Anthony gets back on his feet, looking slightly embarrassed. He is momentarily unsure how to proceed, distractedly scratching his crotch right in the printer’s ‘face’. The printer doesn’t say anything else so Anthony presumes it has finished talking. He goes to switch off the machine. As his finger touches the “off” switch, the silence is broken:

Printer - I’m afraid I can’t let you do that, Dave.

Anthony (unsettled) - Right...

He picks up his document from the tray and begins to walk away. The printer stops him.

Printer - You forgot your pen, Dave.

Anthony turns back and is startled to see a pen floating in mid air, spinning like the famous space station shot early in the 2001 movie. The Strauss arrangement begins.

Printer - You’re my favourite Dave, Dave.

Anthony smiles awkwardly, unsure whether this is a good or a bad thing.

Printer - Now go away.

The music cuts abruptly and Anthony, disappointed, walks away. We cut to an end frame.

Printer - Talk to us today about how Fuji Xerox can help you print less and print for less, Dave.

Printed end frame -

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