When it comes to holidays and occasional travel, the City Lodge Group not only compete with other hotel chains and Airbnb – they compete with the homes

of friends and family.

The truth is, in tight-fisted economic times, many of us end up choosing the “free” option.

But how free is it really? When you weigh up the real cost of staying with the family, staying at a City Lodge hotel is better than free, actually.

Using a dreamlike, lighthearted, lull-you-into-a-false-sense-of-security-esque track of piano, pizzicato and orchestral strings, our seasoned, sardonic “advisor” takes us through exactly what staying with the family looks like, while a deliriously jubilant Greek chorus cut through the truth in four-part harmony, reminding us that all of this is free.

Durban is a sleepy, seaside city on the east coast of South Africa. The perfect place to relax… in theory.

VO 1: You’re going to Durban for a family reunion. A week at the beach house.

Chorus: And it’s free!

VO 1: The beach house that sleeps 15… with just one exhausted, old, temperamental toilet.

Chorus: It’s janky, but it’s free!

VO 1: At least you’re sharing with your brother.

Chorus: For free!

VO 1: Your recently-divorced brother with his involuntary night weeping.

Chorus: Boohoohoo for free!

VO 1: You could always catch up with your cousin?

Yes, Lionel with his lizard people conspiracies.

Chorus: What?!

VO 1: Also, why does he keep checking your pupils?

Chorus: Still free though! Oh so free!

VO 1: Oh, look at the time. Best you shape-shift down to the beach with your grandpa.

Chorus: Grandpapa and me!

VO 1: Your puce, leathery grandpa in his threadbare, sagging, soggy speedo.

Chorus: Hanging out, for free!

VO 1: Just stay at Town Lodge. A room, with your own bathroom, from only 680 per night. It’s better than free, actually.

Chorus: Less dodgy, more lodgy!