Making the decision between a lifelong friendship and saving the planet isn’t easy for anyone, unless you’re an oat drink carton puppet called Norm…

OATLY

THE NEW NORM&AL SHOW

TITLE: NORM’S OLD PAL MILK

Norm & Al are in their kitchen working on a jigsaw puzzle of Romulus and Remus suckling milk from a she-wolf. We hear some old 1950’s Swedish folk music in the background.

The doorbell rings.

Norm and Al look up. The clock opens its eyes and stops ticking. The bell rings again, louder and longer than before, followed instantly by a series of impatient rings and finally a series of loud bangs on the door. Who could it be?

As Al opens the door, Milk, an old friend from a different time in Norm’s life, pushes the door open knocking Al back. Milk is big and weighty, wearing tracksuit bottoms and sporting a tattoo that reads “CH4” (the chemical formula for methane).

Milk throws out his arms as though expecting a hug.

MILK: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORM!”

NORM (flustered):

“Hey! … It’s my old pal Milk…Haven’t seen you in… I dunno…ages.”

Milk awkwardly hugs Norm. He eyeballs the room, looking around. We see various props that depict how close Norm and Al are; a photo of them on holidays, fridge magnets spelling out their names, a badly rendered painting of them riding a unicorn together.

MILK (begrudgingly): “….nice place.”

AL: “Good to meet you Milk, heard a lot about you.” (Milk brushes Al off and maybe rips off a fart bubble)

MILK: “I’ve heard nothing…. About you, hehe…”

Milk helps himself and sits down in Al's chair at the table, opposite Norm.

MILK: “Yeah me and Norm we had some good times back in the day, didn’t we? Well, DIDN’T WE??! Didn’t we?”

Milk picks up a hummus chip and playfully throws it across the table at Norm

NORM: “Well…Stop it!”

MILK: “Uhhh, didn’t we?”

Milk keeps throwing chips at Norm and it transitions into a flashback, reminiscent of The Breakfast Club from the 80s. Norm has different hair:

FLASHBACK: Norm and Milk are younger and dressed differently. Milk wears leather gloves with a denim sleeveless cut-off jacket. Norm is wearing a t-shirt with the words “Take me to your Litre” written on it. In a bathroom cubicle, Milk lights a match with his teeth then leans

over and lights a ciggie for Norm with it. Norm takes a puff and bobs his head as cool-time music rises. Norm kicks the cubicle door open, he’s now wearing sunglasses. He now starts dancing down a school corridor like Emilio Estevez in Breakfast Club. Milk joins in for a montage. It's quite embarrassing. As the montage progresses it gets increasingly fast paced and manic. They dance. They throw loo rolls around the bathroom. They dance even faster, more vigorously. They spray paint the words “Pump up the MOO-sic” on a wall. They dance around a burning car and drink bottles of booze (“mooze”)... They worship the horned devil in a satanic ritual with burning pentagrams and chalices of white blood.

Back in Norm and Al’s kitchen:

NORM (uncomfortably): “Yeah, that was a long time ago, I’ve changed since then… I’ve grown up yeah?… Making better choices now, thinking about the planet… You know how it goes…”

Milk picks up Al's mug from the table, looks at it then puts it down again gently before “accidentally” knocking it on the floor, as he stands up and starts sauntering around the room.

MILK (trying to keep things chill): “Sure sure sure, ya know…me too, hehe, shhhh… I mean, you know what people are saying about me these days, ehehehe… It’s all high carbon emissions this and, ehe, bad for the planet that…

AL(under his breath): “That’s the problem with facts, isn’t it?”

MILK: “Look! It’s not like it’s my fault, I mean I never asked to be like this…” (MILK bubbles off a fart.)

Milk stares into the camera and begins muttering to himself as we slowly push in on his demonic features. The lights darken and we dial up the colour temperature to intense red to accentuate his evilitty!

MILK (stares into the camera and begins muttering to himself):

“Things would’ve been very different around here if all that pesky science hadn’t gotten in the way…

Milk turns back to Norm and the lighting returns to normal and the screeching music fades out.

MILK: “Anyway….we don’t need to get into that, hehehe… So Norm, me and the boys were wondering if, eh, you wanted to get back together…

NORM: “Ehmmmm”

MILK: “I know some cows…”

NORM: “Ehhh…”

Milk gestures like he’s milking a couple of cow’s udders here. Perhaps he even makes a “Moo” sound while doing it.

MILK: “Mooooooo”

NORM (deflecting): “It sounds… A very enticing prospect, but ehmmm…

MILK: “Oh come on Norm! For old times’ sake!”

AL (blurts out): “Norm can’t see you anymore!”

An awkward silence envelopes the room… Everyone awaits Milk’s response. Norm stares at the floor. A tile on the floor now has a face and it stares back at Norm. Al's lower lip quivers as tears well up in his eyes. We cut to several inanimate objects in the room, all with looks of worry and anxiety on their faces. The clock looks left and right as the ticking sound becomes louder and louder. A potted plant with a face covers its eyes with its leaves. A slice of bread with a face, poking its head out, hides back inside the toaster. Dramatically, we pull closer and closer into Milk’s face… He's pensive, shaking uncontrollably, as more milk spills out his open lid and down his cheap plastic exterior. He's deep in thought about something… it’s a cliffhanger moment…

HARD CUT TO BLACK

FADE UP TO FLASHBACK MALMO SCENE TITLE1: 1992, Somewhere in Sweden

It’s the bad old days and we see NORM and his pal, MILK, hanging out on the streets of Malmo. They’re walking along the tree lined Drottninggatan, with the canal behind them and a 2d painted flat of the city of Malmo in the background. They look younger. Norm’s carton looks different too. He has ‘Milk’ across his front. They have a dog together too, an inanimate stuffed dog on wheels that Milk drags along behind them as they stroll along. It appears crisp, an Autumn afternoon.

NORM: “Milk, I don’t know how to tell you this. I’ve been thinking about it for some time, something just doesn’t feel right. I’ve changed… the world needs to change. I want to tell you something but promise you won’t laugh.”

MILK (in an overly sincere, bordering on too nice to be true way): “You can tell me anything.”

NORM: “I’m…Well I’m…”

MILK: “You’re….”

NORM: “I’m…”

MILK: “You’re what, you’re…”

NORM: “I’m…”

MILK: “You’re a horse?”

NORM: “I’m…”

MILK: “An elephant?”

NORM: “I’m….”

MILK: “Tired?“

NORM: “I’m…”

MILK: “…on one leg?”

NORM: “I’m…”

MILK: “What?”

NORM: “I’m”

MILK: “I’m”

NORM: “I’m”

MILK: “I’m bearded?”

NORM: “I’M GOING PLANT-BASED.”

The inanimate stuffed dog on wheels makes a curious whimper, “huh?”.

MILK: “YOU'RE WHAT!? I can’t believe this. How could you, well/right after everything we’ve been through together-together ether-ether-ether”

FLASHBACK WITHIN THE FLASHBACK: We see baby Milk sitting on a potty. Baby Norm runs up behind him and blows across the top of his bottle making that familiar noise you get when you blow across a bottle top.

Back to puppets in Malmo, Milk is getting all worked up

MILK: “We are brothers, Norm, you remember? There’s nothing wrong with being milk.” (he farts again)

NORM: “It’s not you…it’s…it’s… actually, it is you… It’s just something I can feel in my gut...I can’t feel it in my gut, but that’s kind of the point! I can see a more sustainable and plant-based future and you’re just not in it, Milk.”

Milk is now upset, bordering on angry. He makes weird whimpers and noises. His eyebrows furrow. His feelings are hurt. He roars now as he turns on his heels, rips some plants and flowers from a public flower bed, and throws them in Norm’s face.

MILK: “That’s your mom! She’s a plant!”

Milk storms away, yanking the inanimate dog on wheels with him as he leaves. The poor doggy whimpers.

Norm is now alone… A new era has begun…

Norm looks down at the Word “Milk” on his belly. He tears it off like a sticker and then tries to throw it in a bin. The sticker is sticky though so it's really really REALLY

difficult to throw away and it clings to him in its stickiness and no matter how hard he tries to just let go of the bloody thing and get it into the bin it still sticks, from one hand to the other! We start to cross fade between shots, it seems to go on forever, why won’t it end! Finally it comes loose. The crinkled “Milk” sticker drops into the bin. Norm looks down at it. It’s like the end of an era for him, funeral bells ring in the distance, but it's also the start of something new.

Norm turns now and sees Al struggling with his sticker. Finally he too drops it into a bin.

We hear a song begin. It’s Also Sprach Zrathrusta by Strauss. AKA, that song from Space Odyssey

We cut between them back and forth. They seem to mimic each other - Norm raises a hand to wave, Al does the same. He turns his head and so does Al - we go split screen for this as they literally mirror each others actions in perfect synchronicity.

Norm reaches his hand forward, so too does Al. Their hands seem to extend beyond what would be normal. They continue to move through space, Norm's hand moving left to right, Al's moving right to left. Their hands meet in the middle and they start doing a complicated hi-five handshake. Finally, the complicated handshake comes to a dramatic crescendo as the two Oatly cartons go in for a fist pump to seal their futures together as best buddies. As their fists meet we transition to THE NORM&AL SHOW title sequence.

THE NEW NORMAL turns into THE NEW NORM&AL SHOW as the ampersand drops in and the word show pops up.

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