Eating a Milky Way can be a very involved experience. So much that it may distract one from more pressing matters.

FVO: To the guy in the black pants at the park today.

I'm sorry.

SAD MUSIC

FVO: I'm sorry I own a particularly excitable breed of dog.

I'm sorry it's tiring to keep up with the little guy and occasionally I need to rest on a park bench.

And I'm so sorry that's when I decided to eat a Milky Way.

I'm sorry I was so into the chocolate, nougat and caramel I didn't see my cute little Leroy scurry off.

I'm sorry that before I found him, he found your leg.

I'm sorry you tried to shake him off and the motion of your leg only made Leroy all that much more, um, 'affectionate' towards your leg.

I'm really sorry everyone gathered around to watch. And laugh at little Leroy riding your leg like a jockey coming down the homestretch.

I'm sorry about your pants. And for all the photos posted online.

I'm sorry, I was eating a Milky Way.

Sincerely, Audrey Harris. Dog Walker and Milky Way Eater.