MVO: Plain Insanity by Virgin Atlantic.SFX: Cuckoo clockSFX: MusicMVO: I had seen him at supermarket the week before. He had been walking a blue iguana past the cleaning products. With sunglasses on.

Today was a ferret. I made up my mind to speak to him and approached with caution, having seen a documentary on ferrets the night before.

'Is it acceptable to put salt on your cornflakes?' I asked the pale man.

He removed his sunglasses and winked at me, with his good eye.

'I thought so,' I said.

The ferret looked me up and down and I could tell he was drunk. The pale man then spoke slowly in a Northern Spangalese accent: 'I recently returned from London,' he said.

'I flew first class for a business class fare,' he said.

'Virgin Atlantic Upper Class,' he said.

He was plainly insane, so I smiled and gave the ferret my business card.