There are some people who you never want to meet. Not even by accident. This radio introduces you to a few tragic characters who have learnt the hard way about the perils of taking to the roads without Mercedes-Benz’s nifty accident avoidance features.

MAN: Toby von Hubert and I met quite by accident. I was his first ever human friend.VIOLIN MUSICMAN: It all began when he gave me a selection of cheeses lovingly made by his own hand. To say thank you, I agreed to one Cluedo game. Now there isn’t a night that goes by that I don’t get guilted into an evening with Colonel Mustard.

Toby used to be a prolific hand model. I’ve seen all his work, left and right – '89 through 2010.Sometimes, when I’m at the office, he sneaks into my home and sews elbow patches onto all my Jackets. He say’s they’re a sign of breeding. Even Toby’s bathing costume has elbow patches.

Thing is, if I’d been driving a Mercedes-Benz with Attention Assist, that smart driver fatigue prevention system, we never would’ve met.No accident, no blood brotherhood and no Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with the candlestick.