When people eat blistering hot sauce, their eyes begin to tear, just like when they cry. So for Constancia Brava Hot Sauce, we wrote really sad animal stories that laid it on so thick that they made people cry when they heard them, because the only way an animal can make you cry is by slathering it in Constancia Brava Hot Sauce.

NANY: My name is Nany. I’m only 8 months old, and in two minutes I go to the butcher’s block. When I was just a week old, they branded me with a hot branding iron, so I ran away from that farm. I ended up at another one where they branded me again with all the initials of the owner’s 8 sons. At that farm, I made friends with a goat called Sgleazy. He got me to smoke my first doobie. It was love at first puff, and from that moment on, I just laid around the farm. Sgleazy and I were inseparable. Then one day we decided to try mushrooms. They hit him wrong and he went nuts. He ran out into the road saying he was going to stop a truck with just his stare. The truck didn’t even see him. The funeral was really sad. I gave up the weed and dropped 250 kilos in a week. The hogs started laughing at me and told me I was pathetic. I kept bawling over and over again, I’m a Holstein, I’m a Holstein…VO: No cow can make you cry unless it’s got Hot Sauce from La Constancia on it.

NANY:Me llamo nani, apenas tengo 18 meses y en dos minutos entro al matadero… Cuando tenía 1 semana de nacida me marcaron con un fierro caliente, por eso me volé de esa finca y… llegué a otra finca, ahí me volvieron a marcar con las iniciales de los 8 hijos del dueño, en esa finca me hice amiga de usnavy una cabra que me ofreció consumir hierva por primera vez, me gustó y desde ahí no hacía más… usnavy y yo éramos inseparables, hasta que un día decidimos… comer hongos, ella sufrió un ataque de locura y quiso parar un camión con la mirada…(sonrisa)… el camión no la vio… el entierro fue… muy triste, ahí dejé la hierba y me adelgacé 250 kilos en una semana, hasta los marranos se rían de mi y decían eres patética y yo gritaba llorando soy Holstein, soy…. holtein…LOC INST: ninguna vaca te hará llorar si no es con salsa brava la constancia.