It’s not great to have insects in your home. Especially if they’re breeding and multiplying which chances are, they most certainly are.

Yes, they’re having crazy, sexy times on every possible surface of your home. Make them stop with fast, deadly Doom insecticide.

MUSIC: SPANISH GUITAR

MVO: “You, me, the sock drawer, stat.,” said Cheryl the promiscuous fish moth and self-appointed closet bicycle. High on a heady wool-polyester mix she’d scout your clothing for future baby daddies.

“Buckle up it’s breeding time,” she’d purr, “we’re gonna thump this turtleneck like it’s a fat man’s back.” And look at you. All innocent. Peering into your wardrobe looking for something nice to wear. Oblivious to the sordid romp gymkhana that’s going down right before your eyes.

There isn’t an inch of your clothing that hasn’t been sullied by her one-night stands. Your knicker drawer is her mirrored ceilinged boudoir. Your wool coat, her by-the-half-hour motel. Oh, she has played the sex flute long and hard and right now she is regaining her strength by eating the crotch out of a lovely pair of linen pants while her larvae lie scattered all over your delicates, like slutty piñata’s waiting to hatch.

Make her stop...

SFX: AEROSOL SPRAY

MVO: ...with fast, deadly DOOM.