It’s not great to have insects in your home. Especially if they’re breeding and multiplying which chances are, they most certainly are.

Yes, they’re having crazy, sexy times on every possible surface of your home. Make them stop with fast, deadly Doom insecticide.

MUSIC: TANGO

MVO: Someone’s getting a lot of action in your bed tonight. Which is weird, because you’re in a nostril-high flannel nighty with a mouth guard and a bloated gut full of falafel. But Lance, the hornball bedbug who inhabits your mattress isn’t deterred.

“I’m going to plough you like a cornfield tonight,” you can almost hear him say. While you’re sleeping, this amorous chav is taking full advantage of his flexible segmented abdomen. And you, well, you’re just the after sex taco.

He’s performing the sex-a-conda, right there below the small of your back. And in the delicate nape of your neck. And now he’s taking a well-earned break, sipping on a bloody Mary, or whatever your name is.

While a sea of eggs bloom like diseased popcorn around him. Oh yes, the patootie’s getting pounded alright. And the real injustice is that you’ll be the one who wakes up with a bit of a rash.

Make him stop...

SFX: AEROSOL SPRAY

MVO: ...with fast, deadly DOOM.